


Never Doubt

by Kairyn



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Torture, Brother Feels, Brotherly Love, Gen, Hurt Thor (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, One Shot, Protective Loki (Marvel), Who Cares When, thor whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 01:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18622129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairyn/pseuds/Kairyn
Summary: ... we are brothers.For once Thor is the one brought low and needs his brother's help.





	Never Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> So, I stumbled across Brother by petreparkour https://archiveofourown.org/works/14307879 and it was mentioned that Thor Whump never happens. And I went... hey yeah! It doesn't! So this...
> 
> Also, not sure why Loki smokes a pipe in this fic but it happened and I kinda liked it so I kept it. Also also, some gorey stuff in the beginning and in the Bonus Scene at the end. Just to warn you all twice if you didn't see the tag.

He wasn't sure how he had gotten here anymore. All he knew was that whatever they had running through his veins _burned_ every inch of him and he could see it glowing under his skin like sickening rivers of verdant green. He tugged at the shackles keeping him to the table but his muscles trembled and spasmed, and he couldn't gather enough strength to break free. A man draped in white so that nothing was visible beyond his general size leaned over him. He snarled even as the pain of whatever it was running through him brought sweat to his brow. He was trying to ignore that though. Ignore all the pain and humiliation of being reduced to helpless. Again. He'd never thought he'd have to endure that so soon after the last time.

The knives didn't hurt too badly at first. He'd felt the cut of a blade plenty of times. But as they continued to dig deeper and prod and poke it became harder to remain stoic. And they just. Kept. Going. Eventually, his suppressed grunts of pain turned into actual screams while his blood dripped from the table to the floor. The pure white of the man's outfit turned crimson and still, everything kept going.

They peeled the skin of his arm back and pulled his muscles apart to expose his poisoned veins and his bones. His ribs were stretched and compressed so that their knives could slip under them and shine their lights into places that should never be seen so easily. More people came nearer as they took him apart methodically. Each and every bit of himself was coldly pulled this way and that for seemingly no reason. Certainly with no consideration of how much it hurt.

More blood. Rivers of it. His glowing veins were emptying, but they would pump more inside of him so that his body would not falter entirely. Tears streamed down his face as they ripped little bits of him out for some reason he couldn't fathom. Nor did he want to.

One of the men leaned closer and pried his eye as wide open as it would go. His throat tore as he screamed. They were so frighteningly careful as they pried his eye out of his socket. His nerves exploded, and blood streamed down his face in thick sticky streams. His screams didn't stop as they sliced and pulled and twisted until his socket was entirely empty. He felt sick, but he hadn't eaten in what felt like weeks, so there was nothing to expel.

Why was this still going on? Why couldn't he muster the strength to get free?

Suddenly he felt blood spatter across his face from above and not below. He stared up with his one eye as the front of the man above him turned from an expanse of white to a fall of red. A pale hand had wrenched the man's chin up, and he saw a familiar face snarling over his tormentor's shoulder. "Nobody hurts my brother but me."

Chaos erupted, but he couldn't follow it. Suddenly, he wasn't the one screaming. The one being cut apart. Lights flickered and flared in strange colors and alarms were blaring. Glass was shattering, and heavy things were slamming into hard surfaces. The needle jabbing so painfully into his undamaged arm was ripped out unceremoniously from his skin. Red sprayed up to the ceiling in arcing lines.

He quickly felt himself slipping into darkness even as more screams were ripped from those that had been hurting him. Just before his vision faded out entirely, a pale face -spattered with blood but concerned- appeared over him. A slender hand was on his cheek -uncaring about the blood and sweat and tears there. "It's alright now, brother."

It took him concentration to make his tongue do more than scream. "... Loki."

The dark consumed him entirely. Flashes of blood and torment filled his unconscious mind. Because he had not endured enough of it yet apparently. But then, mercifully, the horror faded to nothing.

When he woke up, he wasn't sure where he was. He was definitely not where he had been. He tried to sit up but broke off nearly immediately as just shifting his weight caused a noise of pain to escape. Instantly, Loki was there. "Easy, Thor. You're in no shape to be moving around."

Thor was confused. Of all the things he had expected, Loki showing up to murder his tormentors had not been one of them. "Loki..."

"Yes, it's me," Loki said as he gently pushed Thor back down. "When your hammer stayed sitting in Central Park for three days without moving I knew something was wrong. It's rather hard to lose something that you can summon to your hand. Even for you."

"Three days?"

Had it been that long? Thor didn't have too much trouble believing that considering how horribly endless his ordeal had been. "Yes," Loki said brushing Thor's hair back. "I'm sorry it took so long to track you down, but it isn't as if anyone thinks to inform me when you go missing. Those idiot friends of yours couldn't find you anywhere after the battle, but even they knew you would have never left Mjolnir behind."

Oh, yes. There had been a battle. A bug or something had bitten him hard on the neck, and that was the last Thor recalled. "... how do they fare?"

Loki stared but then sighed and shook his head. "You would ask for them even when I found you with your body ripped apart," he muttered. "They are fine, Thor. Now, you need to drink something. You've lost a lot more blood than I am comfortable with."

Thor might have protested that Loki had spilled that very blood often enough, but Loki was already hooking an arm under his head to prop him up and he lifted a bowl of herb-laden water to Thor's lips with his other hand. Thor was too tired to be contrary, and he was terribly thirsty so he drank the entire bowl as fast as Loki would allow it. "Careful, Thor. You don't want to choke yourself," Loki chided as he prevented Thor from tipping the water further.

Once Thor was done, Loki laid him back down. Only then did Thor realize he was on a thick pallet of furs and blankets. Thor glanced around where he was and realized he was in a cave of some sort. The rock walls were roughly hewn but filled with familiar rune carvings that glowed faintly green. A fire was burning against one wall, and a pot of something was boiling over it. "... where are we?" Thor asked.

"I wasn't able to carry you far with how injured you were," Loki said. "You were losing too much blood. So, I put this together. I would prefer my own chambers as I have better supplies and they are more secure, but this will do. For the moment, anyway."

Thor wanted to ask more questions, to demand some answers from his wayward brother, but he couldn't manage to stay awake. He was still in pain although it was not as sharp and Thor was still so exhausted from everything.

When Thor woke up again some amount of time later, Thor could hear rain and smell smoke. Thor tilted his head as much as he dared and spotted Loki sitting at the mouth of the cave watching rain spatter the nearby forest with a long-stemmed black pipe in his hand. It was a familiar sight. Loki smoking and watching the rain from the safety of the indoors or at least some form of shelter. The mixed smells of fresh rainfall on earth and the sweet smoke of the pipeweed Loki preferred was oddly soothing in how familiar it was. "... how long?" Thor's throat was sore, both from how much he'd been screaming and lack of hydration.

Loki looked over. "About a day this time," Loki said as he put his pipe onto a nearby rock, and got up from his seat. Thor watched warily as Loki came over to kneel down beside him. "Your wounds are beginning to heal, but you could use some nourishment to help them along. Do you think you can stomach some soup?"

"... did you poison it?"

Loki's lips quirked upward just slightly. "No more than my usual attempts at cooking, I assure you."

Thor thought about it, and -although the very idea of food was not at all appealing- Loki was right. "Alright."

"Let me help you sit up," Loki said as he leaned down to hook his arm under Thor's neck and shoulders. Thor hissed as his position changed and his entire torso felt as if it were ripping open again. It took some effort on Loki's part, but he managed to help Thor sit propped against the wall that had been cushioned with a blanket. Thor took several deep breaths to fight back the vague nausea the pain had caused. Luckily, the pain was fading as Thor was no longer moving. "Do you feel up to feeding yourself?" Loki asked as he carefully poured some brown broth into what looked like the same bowl as before.

"I'm not an invalid. I can feed myself," Thor said.

Loki nodded and put the bowl of soup and a spoon carefully in Thor's hand. It was only then that Thor noticed the thick wrapping around his arm and torso. There had to be at least seven or eight layers of gauze and bandages thickening his body. But despite the expanse of clean white cloth all Thor could see was his arm peeled apart like a sick fruit with all of his insides exposed.

"... Thor."

Thor looked up to see Loki studying him with a carefully blank expression. How long had Thor been staring at his arm to cause Loki to call for his attention? "You're alright. They were vermin but they, at least, were skilled enough to not damage anything permanently." There was a beat of hesitation. "Aside from your eye..."

Thor reached up to touch the thick bandages around his head. "I'm sorry," Loki said. "My skill at healing doesn't extend to complex organs like eyes."

"I know," Thor said as he felt the rough fabric. "It's not your fault." Even the most skilled of their healers had trouble with eyes and Loki hadn't put as much effort into those studies as the healers did.

"You'll pull it off splendidly, I think," Loki said after a moment. "You always do. Now eat. It's not much, but it's been too long since you have and it'll bolster your strength."

Thor nodded and slowly began to sip at the soup he'd been given. At the very least, the warmth of the soup would be comforting, if not the taste. Loki went back to his pipe over by the cave entrance, but he would occasionally glance back over as if to check on Thor's condition. "I'm not going to fall over dead," Thor grumbled after perhaps the fifth time he noticed it.

"Believe me, I know," Loki said. "That's not what I'm worried over."

"Then what are you looking at me all the time for?" Thor asked.

Loki took a deep inhale through his pipe and held it for a moment. "I'm waiting," Loki said finally.

"For?"

"The crash," Loki said as if it were obvious what he was talking about.

"I'm in no mood for your riddles, Loki," Thor said. "Speak plainly."

Loki shrugged. "I thought what I said very obvious," he said. "You've been through a lot, Thor. And I'm not sure it hit you fully yet."

"I'm very aware of what happened!" Thor snapped.

"Aware, yes. But being aware of and processing it are two very different things, Thor," Loki said, for once not rising to the same amount of frustration and anger in Thor's voice.

"I'm fine, Loki!"

There was a rumble in the distance. "As you say, brother," Loki said before turning back to watching the rain outside.

Thor glared, but Loki didn't seem to notice. With a huff, Thor turned his attention to his soup. It was far from the best he'd had, but it was indeed soothing and stopped some of the aches in his stomach. Not all -as most of his discomfort was not from hunger- but it did help a little.

Thor only ate about a half of the bowl before he found he thought he might throw everything back up. "Your cooking has improved," Thor said.

Loki glanced over as Thor put the half-eaten soup off to one side where he wouldn't knock into it accidentally. The motion made him groan with effort and pain, but he did it anyway. "I got myself a cookbook," Loki said. "Seemed a prudent thing to do since I no longer have a staffed kitchen to access."

Thor nodded and sat back against the wall to let the last twinges of discomfort fade again. The silence was less awkward than Thor was expecting. With how much contention there was between him and Loki now, Thor had never thought to be able to sit in peaceful silence together again. He had missed this sort of companionable atmosphere. Thor's friends were all splendid, and he enjoyed their company much, but it wasn't the same. Thor missed his brother. And this was the closest Loki had been to the way they were in their youths in far too long.

Time moved slowly, and Thor found his thoughts circling aimlessly. He found his mind drifting back to that table, and those knives, and the stark white splashed with red, and venomous green running beneath his skin. Thor shuddered despite himself and shook his head. Those things weren't something he should dwell on. He swallowed hard and looked up to Loki. He didn't like that Loki was studying him again. "... who were they?"

Thor didn't know why that question came out, but he couldn't take it back now. And, though he didn't want to think about it, he probably _should_ know.

Loki pulled the pipe from his mouth and blew out a long stream of smoke. "Apparently, they are some group calling themselves 'Hydra.' They fancy themselves powerful and as impossible to kill as the mythological creature. Assuming, of course, one doesn't have a fire, I suppose. A flawed analogy on their part given my own affinity for that particular element." Loki tipped his pipe off to the side and hit it lightly against a rock to knock all of the ash and embers out onto the damp ground. "This particular head is well and truly cauterized, I promise."

Thor clenched the furs around him in the fist of his uninjured side. "Why?"

Loki shrugged. "They said something about using you to make better super soldiers or something of that nature, I was too busy killing them to care overmuch about their motives-"

"No," Thor interrupted. "Why did you save me?"

Loki lifted his eyes from where he had been watching his foot grinding the embers of his pipe into the dirt. "Because you're my brother, Thor. And, though I often want to stab you for how much- for... our own history, I don't actually want your death. Nor if I did, would I want you to suffer a long, painful demise at the hands of some pathetic creatures as those. If the Norns declare you _are_ to die young, Thor, it will not be in such a way. That I guarantee."

"You don't want me dead?"

Loki looked mildly hurt at the question. "Thor, have I ever tried to kill you? Maim, yes, certainly. To suffer and be punished, I'll not deny that either. But I've never wanted you _dead_."

"You've stabbed me."

"In the ribs," Loki insisted. "If I wanted you dead in truth I would have gone for someplace more vital. The throat most likely."

Thor snorted and let his head fall back to rest on the rock walls. "So you never wanted me dead?" Thor found that hard to believe given some of the things Loki had done throughout the many centuries.

"I've told you before, Thor, I only ever wanted to be your equal," Loki said. His voice was so soft Thor almost didn't hear it over the sound of the rain outside. Thor turned his head to better see where Loki was sitting as he was now blind on that side. "I would try to elevate myself to your level and fail... so then I would try to bring you down to where I was. Either way, we would finally be the same again. But, unlike me... you so rarely fall down where I can grasp hold. It is most infuriating."

"We were always equals, Loki," Thor said. He truly believed that. He could see now that Loki's slights weren't imagined, but he had always loved his brother so fiercely seeing him as lesser simply wasn't possible.

Loki looked over at where Thor was sitting. "Only to you." The rain sounded so loud where it fell through the trees. "Now, enough of this... you should rest. You have a lot of healing yet to do, Brother."

Thor wanted to argue. To say that he was more than capable of perhaps even leaving the cave, but the effort to actually verbally spar with Loki was always immense, and Thor was simply too _exhausted_ to bother with it. Easier instead to just slowly lay himself back down and do as his brother said. He was asleep in minutes.

When Thor woke again, the rain had only gotten worse, and now the entire world outside of the cave seemed several shades lighter for the frequency of the water falling past. Something was bubbling nearby, and Thor turned his head to see Loki putting things into the small pot over the fire. "Awake again, I see. I'm making a potion for you. It should help your body mend faster and recover some of the energy you've lost," Loki said without looking up from his work.

Everything did still hurt, Thor realized, but he wouldn't complain about it. He was alive to feel the pain so that was already far more than he would have expected. For many heart-stopping moments in that room, he had honestly thought the men would kill him.

Thor watched silently as Loki brewed whatever potion he was making. Loki never once looked up from what he was doing, but Thor somehow knew he had a good amount of Loki's attention. How else would he have been able to know nearly instantly when Thor had woken up?

After what had to have been another hour of working, Loki sat back from the pot and sighed. "It just needs to boil for a bit now," he said. Loki looked over to Thor. "It won't taste very good, I'm afraid."

"Nothing you make tastes good," Thor said automatically.

Loki's lips twisted up into a smile, although this one far less cruel than the ones Thor had become used to seeing. He was almost willing to call it playful. "You said I'd gotten better."

"Not that hard to get better than inedible."

Loki scoffed, but there was a twinkle of good humor in his eyes still. "Just for that, I won't try so hard next time."

Thor felt an odd wrenching sensation in his gut that had nothing to do with his injuries. _Next time_. As if Loki cooking for him was an everyday occurrence. That hadn't even been true when they were young and inseparable. Loki shifted so that he was kneeling beside Thor. "You should drink something. It will help."

Thor sighed but nodded in agreement. He knew he had lost a good portion of blood and he had no idea how long he'd just been sleeping. Judging by the time of day outside not very long at all or at least a full day. Loki helped Thor drink another bowl of water and herbs. Thor vaguely recognized them as medicinal but couldn't figure out what they were more than that and didn't even care enough to try for the easy ones.

Once Thor was done drinking, Loki laid him back down and started checking over the bandages. Thor made sure to study the ceiling very closely. He didn't want to see what was most likely terrible deep gouges held together by strings. Loki's magic could do much to heal, but even he wouldn't be able to hold Thor together long enough for his own body to heal. There had to be stitching holding him together. Thor would have terrible scars from this. Thick, ugly, and dishonorable. If they had been gotten in battle, Thor would not mind. But it hadn't been a battle. He had been held down and made defenseless, and that was not how a warrior should ever be. He was Thor! Son of Odin! He was not meant to ever-

"Nothing looks to be infected," Loki said suddenly. Thor jumped slightly, not having expected to hear his brother's voice. "I wasn't sure what they gave you that made you so weak. I couldn't be sure if it weakened your immune system as well. Either it did not, or they were at least clean enough to not dirty your wounds. Of course, I did clean them, but one can never tell with these things."

Thor was oddly mystified as Loki rambled on about really nothing at all aside from what he was doing or how the potion that was still brewing quietly behind them would work. Loki didn't often ramble without a point, but for the life of him, Thor could not figure out what the point of Loki's tangent was. Was he supposed to realize how much effort and work Loki was putting into healing him? That didn't seem right somehow as Loki didn't once imply Thor had to be grateful or pay him back or anything of the sort. He was very matter-of-fact about everything he was saying. Thor had no idea about most of what Loki was talking about even was but oddly enough, just hearing Loki's voice was somehow comforting.

Thor kept staring up at the rocks glowing with Loki's magic above his head as his brother cleaned and redressed the massive wounds across Thor's torso and arm. Loki was gentle and efficient, and Thor was glad for both. He just sank down into the familiar smooth, warm timbre of his brother's voice.

Thor had not meant to fall asleep. Indeed, he hadn't thought he'd be able to while Loki was actively touching his injuries which still hurt so very badly. But Loki gently nudged him awake some time later to take the potion he'd brewed. Thor couldn't help but make a face. "Awful," he croaked as he all but felt his tongue trying to shrivel up.

"I did warn you," Loki said before offering some cool fresh water to wash the taste away with. Thor was grateful for it and drank the entire bowl. "Now, go back to sleep, Thor. I'm right here if you need anything."

Such a promise shouldn't have brought as much comfort as it did. Thor shouldn't feel safer with his brother sitting there. The brother that had hurt him so many times. But Thor could feel some of the tension fade away, and he soon slipped off to sleep yet again.

Thor wasn't sure how he managed to sleep after just having slept for what certainly felt like a long time. Perhaps one of those mystery herbs he couldn't be bothered to identify was putting him to sleep. Loki probably wouldn't have any qualms about doing that sort of thing. The problem, however, with sleeping, was that Thor was at the mercy of his dreams.

_He wasn't sure how he was here again. All the white was searing into his vision too cold and bright. Fire rippled across his skin and ate through his muscles. He was screaming but couldn't move. Couldn't fight. Blood soaked through him and seeped over everything. Where the white had been too harsh the red of his own life was somehow even worse. The contrast was jarring and the red spread over everything far too quickly. He screamed as his flesh was pulled away and his organs fell to the floor._

Thor woke with a gasp choking him. He saw Loki above him and realized a moment later his brother was calling his name. Thor blinked with his one eye to try and bring the world back into focus. "Are you here, Thor? Are you awake."

"Yes," Thor said although it sounded almost like another gasp of fright. He didn't like that in the least. "Yes, I'm fine," he said as regularly as he could. Thor tried to calm his racing heart and slow his breathing.

Loki frowned. "A nightmare?"

"It's nothing," Thor said.

"Thor-"

"I said it's nothing." Thor didn't mean to snap, but he didn't want to even remember that dream much less try to come up with words to describe the utter terror still flowing through him. His pulse was still too fast.

Loki's green eyes swept over Thor for a moment before he inclined his head just slightly. "Very well. Would you like something to drink at least?" Thor swallowed hard and then nodded. He could almost taste the blood even though Thor was sure there wasn't any in his mouth. Water would go a long way to chase out that phantom taste.

Loki again helped Thor sit up enough to drink some water. Thor, as he finished and was slowly lowered back down so that his wounds weren't strained, couldn't help but wonder why Loki was still here. Surely, now that Thor was out of danger Loki had no reason to stay? And why was his notoriously short-tempered brother being so oddly calm when Thor snapped at him? That was not normal. "... am I still dreaming?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Loki said as he pulled the furs back into place across Thor's bandaged chest. "Why do you ask?"

"You're being... nice."

"I'm capable of being nice," Loki said as he sat back. "I'd have thought you'd prefer it, in fact."

Thor frowned. "It's just... you haven't been in so long."

Loki was silent for a long while. "... I know. And once you're healed, I can go back to being horrible so you can pretend that this never happened if you like. But for now... don't worry about me, Thor. Just let me handle things and try to not hurt yourself by being too stubborn."

None of this seemed real. But it wasn't very dream-like either. Perhaps he was dead. He'd died on that table, and Thor's afterlife was, for some reason or another, being stuck an invalid in a cave with his brother. Well, if that were the case, Thor could think of worse situations to be in. He could definitely think of better as well, but as an afterlife went, that wasn't entirely unbearable. Especially with a strangely nice Loki more like himself than he had been in years.

"You're thinking about something," Loki said. "What is it?"

"... Just pondering my situation," Thor said.

Loki hummed a little and turned to put a thick stick on the fire. Soon the wood was sizzling and popping as the heat dried it before it started to burn. Thor looked out of the cave. It was pure black outside, but he could still hear the sound of rain. "How long have we been here?" Thor asked. Surely, his friends were worried about him, and this was at least the second night he'd been in the cave. Thor should go back to the tower as soon as he could.

"This would be the fourth day. You spent the entire first and half of the second with a fever and unconscious. I was afraid you would get too warm, but I managed to cool you enough that your brain didn't cook in your skull," Loki said.

Thor didn't like the realization that he'd been here in the cave much longer than he'd anticipated. That, plus the three days Loki previously said that he'd been missing totaled a week that the other Avengers would have no clue as to where he was. "I need to get back," Thor said as he started to push himself up.

Loki was there instantly pushing him back down. "No. You need to stay laying down until I'm sure you won't reopen any wounds by getting up," Loki said. "Your friends are fine and, if they are as decent as you say, would rather you heal than rush off recklessly."

"But they must be worried!"

"They would understand," Loki insisted. "And the fact that I can keep you pinned yet should prove you're in no state to try and go anywhere."

Thor glared, but Loki looked utterly unmoved. "Let me up, Loki," Thor ordered.

"Get up yourself if you're so fit to do it," Loki replied.

Thor went to push himself up despite Loki's interference, but he couldn't put any weight on his one arm, and Loki's hand on his chest hurt to try and sit up against. Still, Thor tried for several moments before falling back to the pallet with a huff. Fresh sweat was starting to build on his brow from the effort that had taken. "When you can sit up despite my hand, I'll let you go," Loki said, his voice oddly soft and soothing. "Until then... try your best to be patient, though I know that to be a particular difficulty for you."

"I hate being injured," Thor said as he closed his eyes. (Eye. It was only eye now. Horribly singular.) The attempt to sit up had left his wounds throbbing with pain, and he was regretting it immensely.

"Don't we all," Loki said. Thor felt a cool damp cloth against his face and opened his eye to see Loki above him still. Though, this time he was patting the sweat off of Thor's skin gently.

Thor was quiet for several minutes. "I still don't know why you're doing this. But thank you..."

Loki's smile was fleeting. "Don't thank me for it, Thor."

"You don't want praise and thanks? Since when?" Thor asked. Loki was always seeking recognition how ever he could. Usually in negative ways but occasionally in good ones as well.

"Since in this case. You were partially vivisected, Thor, you don't have to thank me for stopping it, because I would never just sit back and let that happen," Loki said. "I didn't do it for the thanks."

Thor didn't know what to say to that so settled for saying nothing at all. The two of them watched the fire eat away at the wood in silence, and for a while, it was even a comfortable one. "... I still do you know," Thor finally said.

Loki looked down at him, looking mildly confused. "Thank you, that is," Thor clarified.

"If you feel you must, then I won't dishonor you by rejecting it," Loki said. "Though it isn't necessary."

Thor wasn't aware of slipping off to sleep while watching the fire, but he woke up again long after dawn judging by the lightness of the world outside of the cave. Thor cautiously pushed himself up, managing to do it on his own for the first time since Loki had saved him. Speaking of Loki, it was odd he wouldn't come rushing to push Thor down again considering he had every time Thor woke up lately.

Thor looked around and saw that Loki wasn't anywhere in the small cave. For a moment he felt a strange sense of panic that he'd never experienced before. The rain outside, which was still falling, picked up in speed until it was tipping down in heavy sheets. Thor felt his heart pounding to the point of pain in his still-healing chest. Thor gripped the furs pooled in his lap and tried to be rational. It was hardly a big deal if Loki had left. Loki had done more than Thor would have expected from him. Thor certainly was capable of looking after himself and getting back to the Avengers who would be more than happy to help him heal after his ordeal.

Loki didn't _need_ to look after Thor. Loki normally would do anything but. Thor was aware and accepting of that. A log on the fire snapped loudly, and Thor flinched. Thunder rolled in the distance and Thor closed his eye to focus on slowly breathing. He was jumping at nothing and being utterly ridiculous. Even injured as he was, Thor was formidable. And he wasn't even in that horrid room or on that table anymore. He was _fine_.

Thor's eye snapped open as heard rocks shifting outside of the cave. He looked out of the entrance for any sign of life, but the punishingly hard rain was making it hard to spot anything at all.

Through the intense storm, Thor just barely made out some movement. His heart tried to leap through his bruised ribs. What was that? Something coming to try and kill him?

The shadow parted from the trees and grew closer. Green flashed through the white of the rain. Then, the figure stepped close enough that Thor realized how familiar it was. Loki was carrying an armful of thick tree limbs, and Thor watched, slightly surprised as his brother came back into the cave to drop his load off to one side. "You're up," Loki observed as he dripped great puddles of water onto the cave floor.

Loki was drenched to the bone as if he'd been submerged entirely. His black hair plastered to his head and his clothes sticking to every lean muscle. "You're wet," Thor said.

"Well, yes, Thor. It is raining rather hard out there," Loki said as he leaned over and rung a good deal of water out of his hair.

"I know that but..." But Thor had no idea _why_. Loki could easily form a shield of magic to keep him dry. He had done many many times in the past.

"We needed wood," Loki said instead of explaining why he wasn't using his magic. "Have any pains gotten worse? Or new ones cropped up?" Loki asked as he pulled off his coat and draped it across one rock with a wet flop. Water was still dripping everywhere.

"... No," Thor said. "Why didn't you use your magic to keep dry?"

Loki shrugged and knelt down at the fire to shift some of the embers. "I've gotten out of the habit, I suppose. Trying to avoid any undue attention by using my seidr."

Thor supposed that made sense. Loki _was_ a fugitive of several Realms including the one they were currently on. Thor watched as Loki rebuilt the fire with what bits of mostly dry wood was left and arranged the sopping pieces he'd just brought in out of the rain near the fire to dry out before they would eventually be put in as well. They had fallen into that silence again, and Thor was amazed that they'd been able to stay so close without ripping each other's throat out for so long. True, Thor had been asleep for most of it, but he'd been awake for long enough and often enough that he would have expected at least one argument to break out.

"There's still some soup," Loki said. "You should try to eat some of it."

Thor contemplated that before nodding in agreement. He was starting to feel hungry again. Although, judging by how little he'd eaten in the past week and how he was only just beginning to feel hungry, Thor knew that his appetite hadn't exactly returned fully yet. Loki went to the pot and stirred it for a moment before giving Thor a portion.

Loki slowly stopped dripping rainwater as Thor ate. Well, there wasn't much in the soup that was a solid, so perhaps drank was a better word, but Thor wasn't about to complain since he wasn't sure enough of his stomach to desire much else.

As Thor finished his meager meal, he was beginning to feel tired again. Thor eyed Loki suspiciously. "Have you been drugging me?" It wasn't like Thor to be _this_ tired. True, he was injured, and sleeping was really all there was to do when he could barely sit up comfortably, but Thor wasn't usually one to sleep as much as he had been.

"I've not been," Loki said. But then he frowned and amended that, "Well, I _have_ been giving you something for the pain and it might be making you more drowsy than usual, but I've not been actively sedating you, no."

Thor wasn't entirely sure he believed that but only had his suspicious so left it alone. "Speaking of drugging you," Loki said before pulling something out of thin air. It was a vial of familiar bright green liquid. "This is what they were using on you. It's quite ingenious in its horribleness. Pure poison, of course, and slightly radioactive so that it could overwhelm your ability to heal. I worry what it might have done to your liver or kidneys, but I didn't notice any immediate signs of damage there."

Thor shuddered and looked away from the vial and to the fire instead. "Fascinating," Thor said without an ounce of enthusiasm. He really didn't want to know much about that horrible stuff. He could still remember how it looked glowing through his veins.

Loki made a thoughtful noise, and Thor glanced over just in time to see the sample disappear. "... where did you send it?"

"To Stark and Banner. I'm sure they'll be able to do something useful with it or come up with an antidote for it or something," Loki said. "Perhaps they'll even be able to track down who made the stuff. That is something I would dearly love to know..." Loki sounded almost wistful, but there was a cruel edge to his expression and Thor decided to not ponder his brother's motives much more than that.

"Don't you think they'll wonder who sent it to them?" Thor asked.

Loki shrugged. "I don't much care if they know I sent it or not. They'll still take it apart and figure out more about it than I can in this cave," Loki said with a wave at their surroundings. "They won't be able to help themselves. They're like me... they can't leave well enough alone."

"They're not like you," Thor denied. "They respect people's lives."

Loki looked over. "I respect the lives of those that make them worthy of such respect. Those that matter," Loki said.

Thor frowned. "Innocent people matter just as much as those you know, Loki."

Loki's eyebrow went up. "Don't be so obtuse, brother," Loki said. "Nobody cares more for strangers than those they know. It's just not the way things work. Can you honestly say that walking down the street you care for those people standing around you even as much as you care for Pepper Potts? She is not your lover and barely even a friend but you know her and therefore care more for her well being than any of those people you do not have the acquaintance of. Merely existing is not a virtue. It simply is a state of being."

"They still have worth, and you should not be so dismissive of it," Thor said.

"I am not as dismissive of it as you might think," Loki said. "But I am also quite aware that one person's life is not equal to another's. I have learned that for centuries."

Thor frowned and would have argued more, but Loki held up a hand. "Enough of this. You are injured and having a philosophical debate on things such as inherent worth, and the lives of the masses will most likely agitate you, which you don't need. Perhaps later. For now, we will disagree. It isn't exactly a new thing for us to be doing," Loki said. He flashed a quick smile and reached over for Thor's bowl. "Do you want more soup or are you done?"

"I'm done," Thor said.

Loki nodded and covered the pot of soup back up to set off to the side. "You're improving quickly. I imagine given another day, or so you should be able to withstand the strain of truly getting up and moving. Maybe even summoning Mjolnir back to your side. Though they do have it under guard for you, you'll be happy to know."

Thor looked over. "Who has it under guard?"

"Your Shield. It was drawing quite the spectacle, and people wanted to try picking it up," Loki said as he summoned his pipe from thin air. "So Shield did what it did before and erected a makeshift building around it. I'm sure they're also taking the opportunity to study it intensely."

Thor scowled, not at all liking the idea of anyone 'studying' his hammer. Thor lifted his hand and focused on Mjolnir. He was free of that horrid green fluid so he should be able to summon his weapon to him. As he extended his hand a twinge of pain made him draw back quickly. "Ah!"

"Careful," Loki chided. He went over and lowered Thor's arm. "You try to catch Mjolnir with that arm, and you'll rip open all your stitches. Then I'll have to do them again and with less skin than before. Patience is the only cure right now."

"I could use my other arm," Thor said even as he rubbed the bandages over his wound.

"By all means," Loki said. "But while you're outside, please. You'll most likely destroy the mountain above us if you try it in here."

Thor was ready to protest but then realized that Loki had a small point. He was far more used to summoning Mjolnir to his right, not his left. "Fine. Help me up then," Thor said as he shifted to get his leg under him.

Loki's eyebrow went up. "That's probably not the best idea."

"Now, Loki!"

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. "Stubborn," he said but looped Thor's good arm around his neck and shoulders. "But when this hurts you can remember I advised against it."

"Noted," Thor said.

"Alright. On three then. One, two, three!"

Thor gritted his teeth against the pain as he and Loki rose off the floor. He managed to get his other leg under him, but everything right down his center protested the movement vehemently. Thor refused to curse aloud and just focused on getting to the mouth of the cave. Loki was grumbling something under his breath as they slowly made their way across the suddenly enormous seeming cave.

The short trip seemed to take far too long, but Thor managed to make it all the way outside where Loki carefully deposited him on a stump. Rain splashed across a translucent green curve above them. Thor stared up at it, a little surprised considering Loki hadn't been using the force field before. "Well? I thought you wanted your hammer," Loki prompted.

Thor nodded and held out his left arm. It was oddly more challenging to do with his left. Thor wouldn't have thought summoning with a different hand would do that much, but there did indeed seem to be a dominance in play that he hadn't anticipated. Thor narrowed his eye and concentrated harder. Little bursts of lightning rippled from his fingers.

Loki watched silently as the time stretched on. Finally, off in the distance, they heard trees falling and being crunched by very hard impacts. Loki stepped back as the legendary hammer flew forward and slammed into Thor's waiting hand. Thor grunted at the force since it jarred his injuries but wrapped his fingers around the familiar leather-bound handle.

"Feel better?" Loki asked as Thor brushed his fingers across Mjolnir's heavy metal head.

"... much," Thor admitted. Just having his weapon nearby was a comfort. It made him feel much less helpless and vulnerable.

"Good. Now let's get back inside, shall we?"

With Loki's help, Thor got back inside without incident -although it was still a bit of a struggle- and then back down on the pallet. The effort, however, was exhausting for Thor to manage. Being in pain was a draining experience that Thor had never liked. As Loki lit his pipe and settled himself at the mouth of the cave again, Thor drifted off to sleep with Mjolnir where she belonged beside him. As he was in that twilight of half awake and asleep, Thor swore he heard Loki wondering aloud how many of Shield's things had been broken by Mjolnir's flight.

Thor woke up from another nightmare of the room with another harsh gasp. The rain was pounding harder than ever before, and lightning lit up the forest outside of the cave. Thunder echoed nearly at the same time as the flash. Thor's heart was pounding frantically, and the fear was still gripping him. The nightmare had been worse than the previous one. Much worse. Thor felt he might be sick as he remembered how in his dream his insides had spilled out around him and blood had choked him.

Why was he dreaming of that? It was over! Done with! They were dead! Loki might be a liar, but Thor had seen the carnage that his brother had dolled out. Plus he had Mjolnir back! There was absolutely no reason for this lingering wariness and fear! Why was he still dreaming about such horrible things? And why couldn't he control his body at all? There was absolutely no reason for this sort of overreaction! Thor tried to slow his breathing down but only managed a whiny sound that wasn't at all befitting someone of his status.

"Ah." Loki's voice was soft. "There it is," Loki said as he sat down beside Thor. "It's alright. Don't fight it, brother."

"L-Loki."

"I'm here," Loki said as he wrapped an arm around Thor's shaking shoulders. "You're safe."

Thor huffed painfully and couldn't manage to resist Loki's slight tug. Thor crumpled into Loki and buried his face into his brother's still slightly damp shirt. Thor felt the tears burning at his eye and wrapped his arms around Loki's waist. Loki didn't even make a noise of protest as Thor held on probably much too tightly.

Loki just kept his arm around Thor and murmured nonsense and assurances to him. Thor was barely listening anyway as he spiraled downwards into some horrid place where all he could see was blood and all he could feel was pain. The storm outside raged all the harder as Thor broke down into pieces held together by Loki's arm. Thor couldn't even pretend to find some shred of composure as the gravity of everything crushed him down into dust. How had it happened? Why? And why couldn't he _do_ anything!? He should have easily managed it! He should be able to save himself! He was Thor! That was supposed to mean something!

"It does," Loki said suddenly louder than before. Loud enough to be heard over the storm outside and Thor's distress, but not shouting or angry. "It means more than you can imagine."

Thor looked up, his vision blurred from tears. Loki brushed the moisture from Thor's cheek. "Brother. I know that I have not ever been a beacon of honesty with you. But this, I swear on Mother is the truth. No matter what has happened between us, no matter what trials or pain we suffer, no matter how angry I get or what I might say later. Never doubt that we shall always be tied together. Always. Never doubt that I do love you and we are brothers. No matter what else."

"L-Loki-"

"If I could kill them all again, I would," Loki said fiercely. "I would rip them apart shred by shred until even the Norns could not piece them back together."

Thor had no idea what to say to that. All he could do was bury his face into Loki's chest and let his brother whisper more promises and words of comfort. The sobs would not stop, and Thor gave up trying to control it. The jagged edges were digging in deep well beyond where he had any sort of protection. How could he ever stop feeling this much pain? Thor turned more into Loki, who simply wrapped his other arm around Thor's trembling form.

When Thor woke up, he wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he was sore. He was also laying on something firm. Thor lifted his head to see Loki apparently sleeping himself. Thor eyed the dark circles beneath his brother's eyes and wondered. This was the first time he had seen Loki asleep all the time that they'd been in the cave. No matter what time of day or night Thor had been awake during so had Loki. Had his brother stayed awake this whole time? It seemed impossible, but Thor couldn't be sure.

No knowing what else to do, Thor succumbed to what he wanted to do and laid his head back down on Loki's chest. It wasn't the most comfortable pillow or position but just hearing his brother's heart beating beneath his ear was a soothing sound. Thor knew he was healing quickly and soon he would return to the Avengers and have to explain what happened. But that was not something he could think about just yet.

Outside the cave, the rain finally started to lighten.

* * *

*****BONUS SCENE*****

* * *

The Avengers arrived at the home of Klaudius Vendricht. After weeks of study, they had finally traced the chemical sedative and poison used on Thor back to him. The Hydra scientist had told his close friends he was going to his cabin for an extended vacation and Natasha theorized that Vendricht knew that they were on to him and was trying to flee. So, a careful strike team had been put together. Since Thor was still healing after his run-in with Hydra, he was still at the Tower with Bruce. Clint was perched in a tree and had been for several days to ensure their target hadn't left. He hadn't.

With no preamble, Steve kicked the door to the small cabin in as Ironman simultaneously burst through the back. Natasha was right behind Steve and had her pistol drawn.

The cabin was silent, and it only took a few moments to figure out why. The smell gave it away first. A rancid coppery smell that made Steve remember the war and Natasha dark rooms with darker purposes. Tony didn't dare lift his faceplate to try and breathe without filters.

The living room had been emptied of furniture. The walls were covered in runes drawn in what looked to be blood. Candles had burned down to be just wax puddles and there in the center of it all was a body. Hands and feet pinned to the floor with long knives. More runes had been carved into the flesh. But what was by far the most horrific was that someone had cut apart the man's back and broken his ribs to pry open like cage doors. "Blood Eagle," Natasha said.

"What's that?" Steve asked even as he tried to not stare at the gruesome sight.

"... an old Viking torture and execution method," Natasha said.

There was a very long pause. "I feel lucky for just being thrown out a window now."


End file.
